L The Super Hero
by JadeHeartOfFire
Summary: Wendsday is a dangerous day of the week, especially for the members of the Kira investigation squad... A crack oneshot I wrote for Church-Of-L's "L as a super hero" contest on DeviantArt. Enjoy!


AN: Alrighty, I wrote this for ~Church-Of-L's "L as a superhero" contest on DeviantArt. I lost the contest, but I still like the oneshot! CRACK!!! Say it with me. C-R-A-C-K! Not meant to be taken seriously, so don't flame!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. If I did, L wouldn't have died and there would be a few female characters in the show that don't suck and/or love Light.

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One day at the Kira investigation base, it was a Wednesday. None of the Kira Investigation Squad had ever liked Wednesdays. Wednesday was the first time anybody had ever called Matsuda an idiot. Wednesday was the day L's parents left him at Wammy's. Wednesday was the day Light's first girlfriend dumped him. Actually, Wednesday was the day Kira started to terrorize people. So, as you can see, nobody really appreciated the value of Wednesday. Currently, since L had given everyone the day off so he could sulk, everyone was sitting on the couch like a bunch of couch potatoes. Light was in the middle, and had the remote.

"Today we are going to learn how to make a Flaming Chicken Soufflé--"

"Crikey, is that a wildebeest? No, not my kidneys! NO! NOOOO--"

"We gonna learn how to catch us a trout today--"

"Welcome back to Quiz Monkey! Jerry, you can win--"

"Enrique, no! I am still in love with your evil half brother, Marcus--"

"There's only enough room in this town for one of us pickles--"

"And see, you just stick the straw right up there, and voila, there you have it--"

"Ken... _I_ am your second cousin twice removed on your mother's side.."

"Ooh, ooh, keep this one on! It's Clash of the Planets! Ooh!" yelled Matsuda.

Aizawa rolled his eyes. "Yo, man, can we do somethin' else? I think my eyeballs are leaking. Come on, man, we've been doin' this for three hours straight!"

Light turned toward him. "What do you suggest we do then?"

Just as Aizawa was about to speak, slightly demented, yet somehow still cool, laughter came from the other room.

"What was that?" Light asked.

"How in the name of flying bleu cheese should I know?"

"I wasn't talking to you, Matsuda…" Light rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, L came running into the room. Flailing his arms. Running. L. No, you did not read that wrong...

"What the hell…?" Soichiro said, somewhat out of character.

Just as suddenly as L ran into the room, he stopped, standing in front of the TV, his hands on his hips, staring intently at the back of the room. This allowed the team to get a better look at the insomniac detective. He was wearing his jeans, a blanket tied to his neck, a scarf with holes cut in it over his eyes and had the letter "L" drawn on his bare chest with a blue magic marker.

"Umm…Ryuzaki?" Light started "In short: what the freak?"

L shifted his glance to stare intently at the teen.

"Who is this Ryuzaki of which you speak?" L said with a somewhat heroic tone in his voice "I am THE GREAT L!!!" He screamed the last part.

"Umm…okay?"

L then continued to run around the room, flailing his arms.

"Shouldn't we tell Watari, or something?" Mogi asked.

"Nah. I've waited awhile to see this episode of Clash of the Planets." Light said, turning back to the TV.

"Agreed." Matsuda plopped on the floor, sitting about six inches away from the TV.

"…okay…"

CRASH!!!

Crap, broke my monitor. Well, no, not really. Anyway, the team turned toward the direction they heard the crash from…only to see one of the windows in the room broken.

"Did Ryuzaki just jump out the window?" Light asked

"I think so." Mogi answered.

"Aren't we on, like, the tenth floor?"

"Do you care?"

"No."

…

"Shouldn't somebody go see if L is still alive?" Soichiro asked.

"Fine…" Light stood up and walked over to the broken window.

Suddenly, L jumped out from behind a curtain and pushed Light out the window.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Well, I'd say that went over well." L said, stepping away from the window with a blank expression on his face.

…

"So wait, that was just an overly elaborate scheme to kill Light?" Matsuda cocked an eyebrow.

"Yup." L smirked.

"And you're not crazy?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

L turned, heading back to his room. He stopped in mid-stride, turning his head back to the team.

"By the way, if anyone mentions any of this to anybody, they will die in the most painful way possible, got it?" he said.

Everyone nodded vigorously. L turned and walked to his room.

…

"So what'd we miss on Clash of the Planets?"

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AN: Well…yeah. R&R please!


End file.
